OK, so you're a musician and you have a bunch of musician friends. You guys hang out and talk about music related things and have a common understanding of the "musician lifestyle". So, what happens when you are thrust into a social situation where you're suddenly the only musician in the room? Don't panic, I can help make this event as painless as possible using my 20+ years of experience in the music industry and as an amateur sociologist. So let's get started...
1) If you're a work-for-hire musician, try to gather a group of people together when you explain that you're NOT in just one band. The "hired gun" concept is hard to absorb for some, so be gentle with your delivery. It's also best to have at least 5 people listening to your explanation since you will be answering the question, "What band are you in?" numerous times throughout the evening.
2) If you find the need to justify that music is indeed a viable career choice, show people your health insurance card and pictures of your car. If you have neither of these, quickly change the subject to some recent celebrity sightings, your new tattoo or the inspiration for your new album.
3) When asked why you decided to become a professional musician, tell people that your parents forced you down that path. You really dreamt of becoming a doctor, but they wouldn't allow it.
4) If someone at the party insists that you must know where the good drugs are due to your occupation, just go to the medicine cabinet, find the Tylenol, crush it up and sell it for $50 a bag. This will help you pay for your health insurance and car repairs.
5) If asked if your girlfriend is supporting you or if you live in your parent’s garage, quickly plot that person’s death. Rudeness will not be tolerated at this party and you know where they parked their car.
6) When the drunk guy corners you and starts talking your ear off about the band he had in high school, tell him that he should go home and get his guitar so that you guys can jam. This will give you a window of opportunity to get the hell out of there.
7) When asked if you have ever played with any famous people, always say Barbara Walters. When they inquire about what kind of music she plays, say either dubstep or death metal. This will lead to over an hour of confused/amusing conversation which will make the time fly by.
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